On yet another video showing random people having sex…
July 16, 2008
I posted a version of this response on Stunner’s blog, but thought I’d put it here as well. Since I haven’t said much about this topic, I think this will do for now..
The popularity of this [not so] new form of sexual exploration and entertainment is a direct reflection of how sexually repressed this society still is.
The kids having sex are doing it BECAUSE they are forbidden to talk, learn, ask about and explore issues related to sex in a healthy, open way. And when there is little else that is rewarding or attention-getting in their lives, well, fucking on the steps, on the verandah, on the netball court, or what have you, that will do until they come up with something else equally unoriginal and risky.
The adults who are having sex can’t talk about what they do honestly, or even admit their lack of knowledge. The range of things that we can get pleasure from is constantly limited by judgmental attitudes and a culture that insists – at every level – that the less curious one is, the better off. Its the absence of healthy attitudes about sexuality that creates the market and the appetite for these videos, etc.
Listen to the conversations and opining [about the availability of these videos] and you can hear the tut-tutting and the moralizing about values, decency, responsibility, etc. Even the Gleaner has gone so far as to print an article authored by a physician who has ‘diagnosed’ the problem, and consulted the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (he didn’t say which one; volume five is currently being developed) in order to tell us the objective irrefutable facts of our current psychological existence. The eminent Dr. Alverston Bailey has found that, lo and behold, we who have been looking at these tapes are, in a word, sickos! What hogwash!
Therein lies the problem and why we will continue to run around in circles blaming everything else except looking at ourselves.
We are so busy hyperventilating about the problem of watching somebody else having sex that we can’t even recognize what it is about us that would lead us to look in the first place (and then look again – and then ask everyone else if they saw what we did – and then send them the picture) and to feel such emotion about an activity that really has nothing to do with us. That is, unless we find ourselves gazing at our own performance…
Not everyone has seen the footage, but enough have and are talking about it, and even want to see it. That tells you something — we’re still looking to find something that we’re curious about and to make us feel better in this violent-crazed time, and hopefully the next video will deliver. So far, they haven’t, and a highly user-friendly technology is able to do what it always does in this LCD (lowest common denominator) world ie. simply create multiple versions of the same thing that everyone is consuming and which satisfies the most basic tastes for flesh. That is, until someone improves on the product. And there’s a lot of improvement that needs to happen.
Here’s the thing. The stuff on these videos – I’ve seen enough of them – is so boring. It is the worst of vanilla sex, which, frankly, demonstrates a complete lack of sexual imagination on the part of the participants. College students in my time were far more creative than what I’m seeing! If [these videos are] a reflection of what Jamaicans know and are doing in private, no wonder the consumption of porn and sexual services is inching up! A little variety please!
If sex remains this thing that only some people are supposed to have knowledge about or to be able to talk about without being labelled in some pejorative way, then performing sexual activity – even the boring, unoriginal versions – will remain a status symbol of sorts. And people who feel left out or are looking for a way in will continue to undermine the value of that status symbol in these public ways – and sending it via cellphone and satellite for the sex-starved among us to gaze at. I’m tempted to say twitter me, babeee! But what we really need to do is start having serious conversations about sex in ways that can use the same technology that is passing around porn like nobody’s business.